Getting To Yes

May 12, 2023

Getting to Yes Change

In a previous video, I talked about how to get employee Buy In by first addressing people’s emotional reactions. Today I’ll be teaching you how to go deeper, finding out how people really feel by uncovering some of the emotional layers beneath the surface. This skill is really helpful in the workplace relationships, but also in your personal relationships. To do this, I’m going to demonstrate a conversion that’s called Getting To Yes. It’s a mediation technique that I’ve used as a mediator in interest based negotiation. I’ll explain the model and then demonstrate a role-play conversation.

The conversation starts with the leader broaching the subject of a Disruption. In response, the employee describes how they feel. The Leader paraphrases the employee’s feelings with a short statement and invites the employee to respond. If, the leader has correctly understood, the employee will naturally say, “Yes …” If the leader missed the point, the employee will say No, and provide another explanation. Both responses are valuable because the employee is clarifying how they really feel and the leader is understanding and affirming their feelings. The conversation carries on until the employee says “yes”, three times in a row.

It looks like this:

Leader: How are you feeling about the new software program we’re implementing?

Employee:. I don’t know why we can’t stay with what we got. It looks really complicated

Leader: So you feel like it will be really difficult to learn.

Employee: Yes, and I don’t really have time to spend learning a new program. I’m already so busy.

Leader:  You’re feeling overwhelmed already.

Employee: No, I’m not overwhelmed, but I don’t see how this is going to save us time.

Leader:  Oh ok, it sounds like you don’t understand the program and benefits

Employee: Yes, that’s right. It hasn’t been explained to us or even why we need this.

Leader: So, you need to understand the reason we’re changing and how it will help us

Employee:  Yes, that would help a lot.

Leader: So, the first place to start is a clear explanation of why the company needs to adopt this new technology and how it will help us.

Employees: Yes, exactly.

Try out this conversation… get 3 yeses in a row…  to find out the real reasons why people are resisting change and how you can help them to accept the change and even get excited about it. The result is getting to yes.

Dr. Mark DeVolder is a Top Change Management & Transformation Expert, Award Winning Motivational Keynote Speaker Empowering Confidence through Change. Mark can teach you how to change, anticipate business trends and accelerate future-proof transformation. He’s done it before with industry leaders like Qatar Petroleum, PepsiCo, Royal Bank of Canada and Bristol-Myers Squibb.
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